Christianity, faith

I’ll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours

One of the things I crave in my spiritual life is a tight group of people who I can be totally vulnerable with, who will hold my fight to the fire where I need it, and who looking for people who they can be vulnerable with and will hold their feet to the fire.  I’m tired of the superficiality everywhere.  Perhaps because I am an older, single Christian who doesn’t come from a faith-focused family I look for this more than I seem to find it. I just assume, I guess, that others may not need it as much I as do because they must have it readily available.

Or is it that we have trained ourselves to put on our brave faces and pretend we’ve got it all under control?  Do we show God all of our messy parts but put on our ‘Sunday best’ for each other?  I’m personally past that. I want to walk along with my sisters in a meaningful way.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life trying to ignore my own issues. I’ve tried to make myself unnoticeable to others by being the biggest person in the room every time. I’ve tried to deflect the attention my sin brings. I’ve carried around a ridiculously heavy chip on my shoulder full of resentment because you judge my sin while you get to hide yours. But I’m tired of all that.  I’m trying to be vulnerable. It hasn’t been met with much vulnerability back, but I’m going to keep trying anyway.

James says if we confess our sins to one another we’ll get healing. Obviously God holds the power for the healing, but think about why James would suggest we actually talk to one another about all our dirty little sinfulness.  Any thoughts? Well it drags that little bugger right into God’s light.  Even though anybody can look at me and make an instant call on a big sin I deal with, if I’m not talking about it, it’s still in the dark depths of my heart. But once I start  talking to somebody else accountability is in play. Big flashing strobe lights are now all over my sin. Even if I don’t specifically ask for accountability,  bringing somebody else in on my issues traces of it are there.

Weight Watchers has two options for their program: online or in person. Those who participate in person generally are more successful. You know why? Accountability. It’s just simple. My computer doesn’t care if I don’t show up. People will ask when I don’t.So how much could we grow if we could lay our fears of judgement and gossip mongering down and got real with what we are dealing with and then really supported each other?

That’s what I want.

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